Changes

Though my challenge ended back in October I felt I should share this with those who have read my blog and know some of what I have been going through since August of this year. As I mentioned in one of my previous posts I had a manager who was harassing me. It was in many ways sexual harassment and for so long had been ignored. I had reported it not only to the corporation itself, but also to the sheriffs’ department. Though they had wanted to help me they legally could not as he never tried to actually touch me. As for the corporation themselves I have finally heard back from them and it is now under investigation. My voice was finally heard, though it saddens me that it took four months for any action to take place. I’m sure many wonder why I am sharing this and what it really has to do with my blog, or the challenge itself. It was because of my pain and agony over what had happened, and that events that followed that made me decide to do my Bible challenge in the beginning. I have changed so much in the past four months that I no longer recognize myself. My healing has been slow, but hopefully after the investigation is over and I have the results I will fully heal from this time.

I know that Gods hand has been in all of this, to help me to grow into the woman he wants me to be. I now see my strengths and am more prepared for the next time, which Lord willing there never will be one. I know that Vengeance is the Lords, Romans 12:19, and that he will repay. Although I do hope that I am there to see it, I know that this is an evil thought and is wrong. I have tried to find forgiveness in my heart but it is absent, only anger can I find there. I am praying that I can find the forgiveness I lack, because it only hurts me to hold a grudge and not him. Maybe that is the new challenge I need to take on right now, before I do anything else. I know that even though it’s missing right now I will soon have the forgiveness right where it belongs in my heart.